Tortures

[Chase]

As you may know from my location banner, my comp is dead. And i am wondering what tortures should i enforce on the *€@&er that sent me that viral link. Be it human or be it a spambot.

[Drako Slyith]

Human: Put him on a stretcher (in many medieval torture paintings) and then put a water bottle over him with a tiny hole so a drop hits his forehead every ~2 seconds. Make a 1% alcohol 99% water mix, put it in an IV and inject it into his body, causing his blood to burn. Keep him just above starvation. Put several hot coals beneath him to slowly burn him. Force him to look at images of Barney dancing. Make him listen to sounds beating in a random pattern and have lights flickering in a different random pattern. This will keep him from falling asleep or going into a trance.

Alternatively, maybe report him to the police and let him spend several years in jail.
I'd go with the second one, but whatever.

If it was a spambot or malware, find the creator of the bot or malware, then see the beginning of my post.

[Chase]

I like that
any other suggestions

[Amariithynar]

Do a reformat after backing up any important files to a separate harddrive and reinstall everything. Ignore the pissant and continue with live, knowing that you're better than he is, without being too smug about it (otherwise you'd not be better, just a jerkwad in return).

[stealthx]

Hmmm.... I have told to do a review on plasma metal cutters versus oxyfuel cutters. Maybe I can held you out?

[Chase]

Please do. All torture methods are welcomed on this topic. Mwahahaha.

[rincewind]

Find a way to manufacture a arrest warrant for child porn. Then repeat the steps so they are wanted in 4 or 5 of our less liberal states. Then wait till he gets pulled over for speeding and boom the next 4 or 5 yrs he will be shippped around to different jails and prisons until they find out it was all a computer error.

[Chase]

Pretty good. I like your style. Problem is that we managed to trace his ip to somewhere in zim. But thats also the solution, neural hacking = 30 years in chickurubie prison.

[BlakeG228]

Soak a de-kerneled corncob in turpentine, then stick it where the sun don't shine.

Or pop off his fingernails one by one with a razor sharp piece of bamboo like the North Vietnamese and Japan did in the wars.

I'd say the worst of all the Imperial Army did to our G.I.'s was sticking a glass rod in your johnson and smacking it with a rubber mallet. OUCH!